Not her, But you
by Danu40k
Summary: Nick's life in Poem form


**Not Her **

**But you**

**By Stephni Warner**

**April 2000**

I came from war

Despondent and alone

The wish for life

All but gone

You sent her

To me unbidden

Asking that

Which was forbidden

You taste

Of fine mulled wine

Filling all the corners

Of my mind

Twas not her

But you

You show me

What can be done

When mind and body

Act as one

You heal me

With your kiss

Each moment

One of bliss

You help calm me

In the night

Your passion gentle

Yet showing your might

Twas not her

But you

Master

Father

Demon

Lover

You who

Each night

Lead me to

Greater heights

Blood and passion

Wrestle as one

At each dawning

Of the new day sun

Twas not her

But you

**********End Part 1********

You left us

For a time

Perhaps to taste

Another's wine

Soon after

I found

One whose love of God

Was sound

Her arguments

And fasts

Left images

Which would last

Twas not her

But you

I came to her

And spoke of fate

She spoke to me

Of others hate

How could God exist

Asked I

How could he not

Was her reply

What of this killing

And the death

Tis our doing

When all is said

Twas not her

But you

I returned to her

'Pon learning her fate

Hoping to reach her

'Fore twas too late

To free her

I sought

She refused my gift

So all was for naught

She goes with great courage

To martyrdom by fire

A part of me goes with her

As I watch them light the bier

Twas not her

But you

***********End Part 2*********

I returned to

My Sister lover friend

I thought she would stay

Till the end

Nights of passion

Days of bliss

But there was something

That we did miss

Though we

Loved each other

We found we each

Missed our other lover

Twas not her

But you

She was all

That I could hope for

But in the end

I needed more

In sensing this

My sister

Lover

After time

Left me for another

For a time I did

Cry like the rain

And showed mankind

My full disdain

Twas not her

But you

You returned then

To my side

Bringing comfort

Along with pride

We return

To the ways of old

Hunts of passion

Love so bold

Something is missing

I now find

Your love to be

Other than kind

Twas not her

But you

************End Part 3***********

I soon begin

To seek my own life

One which would soon

Lead to strife

Artisans

Writers

Musicians

Poets

I work with all

To learn and grow

Seeking life

Beyond the pall

Twas not her

But you

Art and knowledge

Has become my balm

That which keeps

My spirit calm

You returned

Then

Wishing to be

A family again

I cannot return

To that

Which has

Been spurned

Twas not her

But you

No longer

Father lover brother

You have made us

Master and other

My keeper

To be

No matter what

It may mean to me

Killing those who

Disagree

Pushing me

Even further from you

Twas not her

But you

*********End Part 4********

I made a vow

No more killing of just

Killing only the guilty

If kill I must

I return

For a time

Taking that

Which was not mine

Coming to regret

This decision

Made

With such precession

Twas not her

But you

To return to my vows

I seek the sun

Thinking if I regain this

Then I will have won

Fighting the evil

Which exists in us all

Believing any

Who would answer my call

Suffering pain

And agonies untold

In my attempts

To leave your fold

Twas not her

But you

Yet you came

Time and again

To rescue me

From sin

Be it science or magic

That I would try

You would rescue me

From my pride

You would push and prod

Possessive as ever

Angered when I cry

Never

Twas not her

But you

*********End Part 5******

To find myself

Awash with strangeness

Not knowing

Where this place was

Memory has fled

Making knowledge

Of past crimes

Dead

She comes

To me then

Only saying

She is my friend

Twas not her

But you

You say

The night

Is ours

Is my birthright

I find myself pulled

By two sides

Each saying

The other lies

Each only

Veiled truths say

But it I whose price

In pain must pay

Twas not her

But you

You hold out

Your hand

As one would

To a drowning man

You return to me

That which was lost

Saying for once

There is no cost

My tale is a long one

I am afraid

But I have plenty of time

Forever they say

Twas not her

But you

*************End Part 6*********

She has returned

One you thought dead

After the taking of

Her pretty head

Daughter

Mother

One who wished to be

Your lover

Killing her rescuer

And taking his head

Delivering it up

To you in her stead

Twas not her

But you

Getting you blamed

For her kill

Which only adds

To her thrill

Arrested and questioned

By your son

Added to the insult

Of what she has done

To your knees

You will be

Watching your precious

Community flee

Twas not her

But you

Those that would

By your side stay

Must be the first

To go away

You r precious little

Community

Shall be the

First to see

'Pon them

She shall vent

To show you exactly

What she meant

Twas not her

But you

************End Part 7*******

She used another

As a goat to a lion

Attacking as I

Attended the dying

She left me for dead

With visions

Dancing

In the color red

Pleasure of death

Pleasure of pain

Pleasure of torture

Again and again

Twas not her

But you

I fight with the strength

You gave to me

Using it

To make me free

With freedom came

Knowledge

Of your own

Pain

Hoping to arrive in time

To save my sire

Lover

From his daughter mother

Twas not her

But you

She has you believing

That I am gone

Has you ready to

Follow along

I arrive in time

To take her first

'For she drains you

To slack her thirst

Together we

Prepare her bier

To finally free her soul

With fire

Twas not her

But you

***********End Part 8********

We return

To each other's side

Bringing comfort

Along with pride

No longer

Master and other

We are now

Father lover brother

I show you

What can be done

When mind body and soul

Act as one

Twas not her

But you

You keep me fulfilled

Your mind and soul

As a deep pool

Stilled

I give you energy

To continue on

To live each life

To learn new songs

We teach each other

What is true in life

We aid each other

In times of strife

Twas not her

But you

Though fight we shall

With the coming tide

We now have learned

To one another abide

We calm each other

In the night

Our passions gentle

Yet filled with might

You of fine mulled wine

I of honey and spice

Together renew

Our love of life

Twas not her

But you

***************Fini*************


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